Poem: Soul – Star – Hope

Sometimes I go crazy and get super sad for no real reason. When I feel like that I always need to spend some time cooling down, and the easiest, best way to do that is to write poetry. This one, of course, also had the bonus of relieving some pressure because I had to finish it for my Creative Writing class, but you know, that’s probably okay.

If I get more than one of these suckers, I’ll snap up a poetry section.

Anyway, I’ve babbled on enough. I’ll do myself a favor and hush up and let you guys enjoy.

 

Soul – Star – Hope

A freeverse poem by Sam Oliver [Eris]

The stars burn

Bright

Like shining frozen

Shapes–

In the rain

And

Always too far

They

Said it was enough

But

Their words snake

Down

Dodge the drops–

With

You I won’t

Drown

Inside.

 

Listen to your heart

While it still beats free

Listen to the rain

Drumming on me

A shower’d molten glass

Will not the world compare

With every song in brass

The echoes draw me near

 

Closer

Like the fire

Embers

In my hair

Whipping

Through the wind

I can

Feel the stare

Of sun

On my head

I will

Not be slain

By ice

In the vein

Of my heart.

 

Listen to your soul

While it flows for me

Listen to the pain

When it tears you free

Feel every voice

Aching to be heard

Still your every need

A caged, little bird

 

To sin wherein it

Stands

Like a tall tower

 

To hate wherein it

Sways

Unfazed by love’s power

 

To fearsome bitter

Cold

Swept from my heart

 

To frost on fingers’

Nails

Like iron in the dark.

 

Listen to your mind

While it sings so sweet

Listen to your hope

Arrested in its sleep

Cry for every love

Taken back unkempt

But live for who you are

And not for who you’ve dreamt

You should be.

 

 

Comments, questions, critiques? C’mon, I love hearing feedback! If you don’t put it out here, I can’t very well answer it now, can I?

Not that I want you to feel pressured. If you really don’t have anything to say and you just thought it was nice, feel free to snap that on too, I always like encouragement. On the other hand, if you think it’s total crap, TELL ME WHY PLEASE and tell it to me straight. I don’t like flame any more than the next gal/guy, but I’m a firm believer in honesty and I don’t aim to please everyone. I’d rather know the flaws so I can correct them than stay ignorant of them, and I need perspectives of all types in order to improve! I thrive on criticism and encouragement!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it at least, since it was such a joy to write.

-Eris

4 thoughts on “Poem: Soul – Star – Hope

  1. My favorite:

    Listen to your mind

    While it sings so sweet

    Listen to your hope

    Arrested in its sleep

    Cry for every love

    Taken back unkempt

    But live for who you are

    And not for who you’ve dreamt

    You should be.

  2. I love that part too. I think it flows well with the rest of it, really, and as the author I suppose that’s something I should always be looking for, if that’s what floats my boat. Thanks! It is what floats my boat! Flow is super important in most of my poetry. If it don’t flow, I won’t show. Or something similarly rhyme-y.

  3. I love the stanza “Listen to your soul” to “A caged little bird.” I also really love the above-mentioned favorite part (especially the lines “listen to your hope/arrested in its sleep”). Those are probably my favorite two lines in the poem; they’re just beautiful. But I don’t exactly understand the lines “cry for every love/taken back unkempt,” I guess because I’m not understanding how love itself can be “unkempt”? Maybe unkempt as in–a disorderly, bipolar, sometimes-you-love-me-sometimes-you-don’t kind of way, I guess, but that doesn’t really seem to fit with the words “taken back.” I expected it to be something like “cry for every love/taken back *unkept*” but maybe that’s not what you meant? That’s the only part that really leaves me wondering.

    About that poetry section? Write it. Please? I love your poetry.

  4. *giggle* Thanks for the feedback, Megan! Haven’t heard from you in a while! Yeah, I’ll mess around with it a bit on paper and redo some of it in print. I wrote it that way and I know how it sounds in my mind and how it feels there- but it doesn’t surprise me, because really that was a rhyme that, while it fit for me and at the time it felt right, it didn’t QUITE click for me at first. Good catch!

    I suppose I mean that all love is messy, for me. When it gets pulled away too soon by tragedy or disaster or by things I can’t explain, I think it pulls with it a piece of me that I’ll never see again. And yet, I can’t help but love, and I can’t help but try to be close to everyone I possibly can. Does that make sense now?

    Yeah! Poetry rocks! I’ll start on that as soon as I can.

    As for ‘Listen to your soul/A caged little bird’… I thought it was beautiful too? I dunno, I like the whole poem. I ought to, having wrote it, but it’s one of the few poems I’m genuinely totally proud of, and not least because I actually slapped it out there instead of keeping it on my computer where it rots, prone to system crashes and base elemental decay.

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