Poem: War’s Lament

Okay, well, despite the title, I did this one without even really thinking about it. Since I said I would, I’ll post it. But you know, I’m not sure how well I like it. The rule for this one– it’s not quite freeverse– was couplets. I wanted to do series of couplets. I think I did pretty well– as far as experiments go.  But again, there I go off on a tangent. I’ll probably work on this one again sometime. Until then, FORWARD! Ever forward!

Enjoy if you can. As always, comments, critiques, etc. I love to hear feedback. It makes me a better person! Truly it does!

—-

War’s Lament

By Sam Oliver [Eris]

 

The faces as they pass

Are shining, golden glass

Like elemental fire

Untouched by heart’s desire

Her soul is made of stone

With silence cold as bone

To fate, we meet again

Inside that wildest fen

Are you the first to come?

Thy mind will strike thee dumb

Should purity ever fail

Remember past the Veil

For we are darkest night

The star that shines unbright

Tis we who cry in dark

As souls do disembark

From ships that sail away

Will you defeat today?

From blood to bone to soul

From stone to earth to clay

Our minds are one and whole

Our hearts not disarray’d

For we are goblins true

Demons and monsters too

With claws and teeth in red

We come to take the dead

So battle on with foes

Struck down with blades of snow

As ice feasts on their eyes

And cold creeps up thy thighs

Let bodies froze by time

Lay there until this rhyme

Is done.

—–

 

I still count it as somewhat freeverse. I think it’s okay, and it’s certainly interesting that it has this weird rhyming scheme. But by the same token I think there are definitely areas I could improve on– that is to say, it doesn’t really get going until the middle. I like the feel of it okay, and for a spur-of-the-moment poem I think it’s good. Another constraint I put on myself for this one was the meter- which is set at three sets of two syllables per line. That was fun to try to figure out. I also like the word ‘unbright’. It’s not really a word. Really it isn’t. But it’s fun to make them up every once in a while, and it feels like it should be a word!

-Eris

© 2012  Sam Oliver [Eris of Discord]