Well, since this sort of thing- anything about gender, really- interests me waaayyy more than is probably healthy, I figured I could spare a post or two on it. I was right, so here it is!
First off, I’m going to give a bit of a definition of the undefinable.
Gender- what the heck is it? It’s a little voice in your head that tells you what’s ‘proper’ for you. Generally speaking, if you’ve got ovaries and breasts and girl bits between your legs you’re thought of by the public as a girl, right? And if you’ve got boy bits and are relatively flat without the ability to breastfeed, you’re thought of as a boy?
Okay, we’re square there, right? That seems pretty easy. If you’re really sheltered (don’t feel bad if you are, I’m trying to inform, not to alienate), maybe you haven’t heard of this next bit, so bear with me a moment and try to understand and not judge!
Sometimes, and we’re getting a better idea of why this happens, a boy (which we already defined) will be born and, to introduce another element to it, his mind will not accept that his body is male.
Why is that important?
Well, the mind is incredibly important! If the boy grows up in a social environment filled with boys who all like their bodies and he hates his on the inside, that could have disastrous effects on his self-esteem! Since schools can be cruel in the United States (I can’t speak for elsewhere), he could be alienated for any expression of what he feels to be his true self!
He might be convinced that the only way out is suicide, and he might never truly understand what exactly is wrong until he’s already dead.
Just for fun, I’m going to avoid using scientific terms here and call this not-boy exactly what I feel he is.
He’s a person. It doesn’t even really matter what he wants his body to look like, except to him and the people who want him to be happy. If he decides he wants breasts and ovaries and goes to have surgery, hey! Good for him! I believe in living your own dream. If your dream is to change your body type entirely, that’s wonderful. It’s hard! It’s not an easy path. But it’s strange, isn’t it? Isn’t it amazing all the different types of people there are on the world? Alienating them will do nothing! We should stand up for the hurt, and help those who have big dreams and so little support!
But that’s a tangent. People will use all different kinds of weird terms to describe otherly-gendered folk. Some people refer to a gender ‘line’ and blurring it. I think of it as an immense sphere. Everyone fits in there somewhere. I don’t think it really matters where so long as you just remember that there is a place there for EVERYONE. Not between boy or girl or male or female or any of that silliness- it’s a sphere! What lines? Where you identify is just down to you, your mind, your culture, and your heart. Above all, follow your heart. If it means so much to you, no one can take that away.
I’m fluid gendered, for instance. I don’t just stay in one place in the great big sphere of gender. I bounce around. I’d like to be whatever I feel at the moment. It’d be pretty neat if I had some way to shapeshift like that out here in the meatspace world, but I’m content with being able to express myself through the clothes I wear, the people I meet and the things that I do, at least for now.
I might feel boyish one moment and completely feminine the next. There’s no serious stability with me and you know, some people might find that really scary! As much as I love free expression, not everyone might agree with me!
If I’m not careful, I could get beat up for not matching others’ expectations, for being wildly different. (hee. It’s funny because everyone is different and everyone is in a sliiightly different place in the gender sphere) Sometimes people are killed just for being themselves! Isn’t that crazy?
But I’m not worried about that. I’ll live every moment I have to its fullest and be myself as plain as can be. I can only hope other people follow my example and come to accept that even though we all fit in a different place, we all share hopes, dreams and thoughts, there’s something in common that you can find with just about anyone if you try hard enough, and so there’s really no reason to get into arguments at all-
Unless you just like tossin’ discord around and messing with people. That’s fine too. There’s a place on Earth for everyone, and even if there wasn’t I’m sure there’re other planets where they’ll be able to fit in eventually. ❤
I suppose the entirely of what I want to say is that-
To everyone their own.
Ah, a further note.
The disconnect between someone’s born sex and their mind is called many things depending on what the so-called symptoms are- it happens to people with girl bits or boy bits or something inbetween (which we are so not getting into just yet), and it happens all the time. If you’re curious about it, you can look up such terms as:
If you’re REALLLY curious about it and no one is giving you the answers you want, you can toss me an email or comment.
I’ll get back to it eventually and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll look it up for you to the best of my ability!
Of course, my opinion is biased. But so is pretty much everyone’s, so don’t worry so much about that. I’m not gonna judge or anything. (what kind of hypocrite would that even make me I don’t)
Anyway. That’s all I have for now.
Love out to those that need it (Which, by the way, includes all of my friends, family and others in or out of the blogosphere),